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The secret power: 1. chapter – This is how it all began

 Toto je prvá kapitola môjho FanFiction románu o postavách z twilight ságy, dúfam, že sa vám bude páčiť, aj ked je to po anglicky … 🙂
1. chapter: This is how it all began

am Sue and this is my story. It was almost the end of august, the end
of summer holidays. The last week I should stay with my cousin Bella.
Forks was the only place, which I hated cause of the rain and the
legends behind the whole town, but I used to visit Bella every summer,
but I haven´t been there for five years, so I decided to go, although I
was a bit scared. Bella has got a new boyfriend called Edward, but she
never talks too much about him. I don’t know who he is and if he is
right for her. On the way to Forks I was thinking about how it would be
to meet him. Finally, I have arrived at Forks. My uncle Charlie was
waiting for me.
"Hi Sue, we are so happy to have you here again."
I haven’ttell anything more.
"Well, Bella is at home with Edward. They are waiting for you."
"He is in your house?"
I was shocked. Uncle Charlie has never let a stranger in his house.
"Yeah, he is. Why are you so surprised? He is Bella´s boyfriend. I can´t forbid him to be with her."
Charlie didn´t look happy. Something was pestering him.
"Uncle Charlie, is everything alright? You look so broken."
"Everything´s fine Sue. Bella is very happy."
"But you aren´t. Is there something wrong with Edward?"
"No, no. He is a good guy. I think."
The rest of the way to Charlie´s house we were silent. Finally, we stopped in front of Charlie´s house. "We are here."
has changed, although I haven´t been here for so long. I´ve run into
the house, screaming "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLS," She was in the living
room. I hugged her so tightly.
"Sue is that really you? You´ve changed since we´ve seen each other."
"Well Bella, I grew older."
talked for a while, but then I´ve realized that we aren´t alone in the
room. I´ve looked in the direction, where he was standing. The
unnaturally handsome guy. EDWARD. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from
him. I wasn´t listening to Bella. Just looking at him.
"Sue, are you listening to me?" I suddenly realized that Bella is talking to me again.
"Hmm, what?"
For one short moment my eyes caught the eyes of Edward. I quickly looked at Bella.
"I was talking to you Sue, but it seems that you are not interested in my words."
"Sorry Bells."
have turned my back to her. For one moment I´ve felt like, there was
just me and Edward in the room, although I see him for the first time.
Fortunately uncle Charlie came in the house, so I needn´t to explain
the situation to Bella.
"Come Sue, I´ll show you your room."
Without a word I´ve followed uncle Charlie. My room was in the attic. This was the best room in the house. MY ROOMJ.
"We´ll be downstairs if you need anything."
"Thanks uncle Charlie."
he left the room. I lied down on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to
get some sleep after the long journey, but I still had Edward´s eyes in
front of me. How is this possible? I went downstairs trying not to
think about Edward, but he was still there.
"Sue I´m so sorry, I haven´t introduced my boyfriend to you."
"Hi, I´m Edward. You must be Sue. Bella has talked so often about you."
"Yes, I´m Sue."
I´ve almost whispered, still looking at the ground.
"She´s a bit shy."
Bella wanted to say something else, but my phone rang. It was my mom, Charlie´s sister.
"Hi mom, I´m glad you´re calling. I´m great."
tried to talk to her as long as possible, thinking that Edward would
leave and it could make me stop thinking about his gold-brown eyes. But
when I´ve returned back to the living room after half a hour, he was
still there. Suddenly he said goodbye and left. After the dinner, Bella
and I went to her room and talked. I love our long meaningful and
almost never ending talks.
"Bella, tell me something about
Edward. He said that you were talking about me very often, but I don´t
know him. How is he? I never imagined that he is so beautiful and
"Ok, I´ll tell you something about him. He has
two step brothers and two step sisters. Brothers named Emmet and
Jasper. Sisters, Alice and Rosalie. But I think you should know him on
your own. He is very kind and friendly."
"But how can he be so beautiful?" I´ve interrupted her. Bella didn´t answer.
"I´m tired, I´ll go to bed. Good night Sue."
left the room. I was sitting on the bed and looking at the opened door.
I couldn´t get rid of the idea, that Bella hides something. I lied down
and tried to fall asleep but with now success, so I went out to walk a
bit. I was walking almost for half a hour. Suddenly I was in the
forest. Everywhere around me was dark and I couldn´t find the way back
to uncle Charlie´s house. I went back to the direction from where I´ve
come, but the house wasn´t near. I walked for another twenty minutes
and came to a meadow. It was so gorgeous. The moonlight lighted the
whole meadow. I saw a shadow in front of me. It seemed familiar and
coming slowly closer. He was just few meters apart from me, when the
moonlight shined at him. It was Edward. The moonlight made him look
more beautiful than he really is. His skin was sparkling like his whole
body would be covered with diamonds.
"What are you doing here, Sue? Now, in the night?"
I was speechless. His face in the moonlight was amazing and unforgettable.
"Sue, are you alright?"
Edward came closer. My heart started beating strongly.
Calm down, he is Bella´s boyfriend.
The thought was in my mind. I took a deep breath and said:
"I´ve got lost. Can´t find the way back to Charlie´s house."
I couldn´t look at his face. He would know that something is not alright.
"I´ll take you back."
None of us was talking on the way. When we went out of the forest Edward stopped.
"See, there´s the house. I must go home now."
"Thank you, Edward."
He just smiled at me. The smile was like from a different time, so sweet and calm. I went inside. Bella was waiting for me.
"Where were you?"
She was furious. I´ve never seen her like this before.
"I couldn´t sleep so I went for a walk, but I got lost."
Bella´s sight was telling everything. She didn´t trust me.
"Really? Then what were you doing with Edward?"
I said nothing. I knew, she won´t believe me.
"I took her home. I´ve found her at the meadow."
It was Edward standing behind me. Bella´s countenance suddenly changed.
is the matter with her? She always trusted me and now? I am here just
one day and she is angry. I can imagine that she doesn´t want to lose
Edward, but ….How can I feel something for him when I don´t even know
Bella was standing in front of me.
"Tell me the truth."
Tears started flowing down my face.
"But Edward told you the truth already. Without him I would be lost in the forest."
I run upstairs to my room. I was crying. Bella, who always was by my side, now she didn’t believe me.
"Bella, she was really lost, why don´t you trust her."
"I have a strange feeling, Edward."
"Don´t be afraid. I´ve heard her thoughts. She is worried just about how you changed. That´s all."
I was sitting at the staircase and listened to their talk.
Did he say, he heard my thoughts? He can read minds?
called me. I run quickly into my room, trying not to think about
anything. If it´s true that Edward can read minds, I have to pay
attention what I am thinking about.
"She has heard us."
"Edward, she won´t stop until she would know the truth. What would we do?"
Bella. I know she can keep the secret. She just wants to know who I am.
When she finds out, you have to keep it just between us, you understand
Bella was looking in Edward´s eyes. She was scared.
"But what if James or Victoria would find her and hurt her?"
Edward was silent.
"Trust me Bella, I would do everything to keep her safe I promise. I have to go now. Bye Bella and don´t worry."
smiled at Bella and gave her a warm kiss. Bella was just standing
there. She went upstairs to my room and knocked on the door.
"Sue, open the door."
didn´t move. I didn´t want to hear what she wanted to tell me. She just
should let me be. But when I didn´t open the door, Bella stepped in the
"I don´t want to talk Bella. I´m tired."
"You´ve heard us, right? You know what we were talking about with Edward."
I was silent. I didn´t want to tell her, that I am afraid to find out the truth about Edward.
"Sue look at me. Please forget everything what you have heard and promise me that you won´t investigate the truth about Edward."
I looked at her. So there was a secret about Edward which I shouldn´t know.
"But why don´t you want me to know the truth?"
you wouldn´t understand that. Look, Edward is just like the other guys
in his age." But I wanted to know the truth, although Bella has
forbidden investigating. I simply ask Edward.
"Ok, Bella I understand. I promise."
"Thank you, Sue. It really means a lot to me. Good night."
left the room. I couldn´t stop thinking about the mystery ´round
Edward. But no idea was good enough to be true. The next day was
terrible. It was raining heavily and Bella was in a bad mood. So I took
an umbrella and went out. No one asked me where I´m going. Forks is a
small town, so there aren´t many places to go. I was just wandering
through the streets and saw two girls. They looked like goddesses. I
was staring at them. They looked like they weren´t from this time, like
the God gave them too much beauty. I went to their direction, not
knowing what would I do when I am near. But when I was close I saw
their eyes. I saw such eyes before. They´ve had the same gold-brown
eyes like Edward. Maybe it´s Alice and Rosalie.
"Edward, Emmett, come on, we don´t have much time."
Edward? Did she just say Edward? That just has to be Rosalie.
I was standing there waiting what would happen. Then they went out of the store. Emmett and Edward.
"Oh, Rose. Relax, we don’t need to hurry."
It was really Edward´s step sister. GOSH, they are so beautiful. So perfect.
Suddenly Alice looked my direction.
"Who is that girl?"
"I want to know that too. She is standing there for a couple of minutes staring at us."
It seemed that Rose doesn´t like my present. Edward came to me.
"Hi Sue. What are you doing outside in this terrible weather? You should be at home."
just looked down. Fortunately it was raining so Edward couldn´t see the
tears in my eyes. "Well, Bella is not in a good mood, so I decided to
go out. So she needn´t to see me."
"Oh come on Sue, she is not angry anymore. I know it."
Yes you can read minds or something like that. You know everything, I don´t need to tell you.
"But you didn´t see her face in the morning. She didn´t say a word to
me. I don´t know what´s the matter with her. After you have left she
told me, that I should promise her, not wanting to know the truth about
Why I´m telling him this? I should keep it secret.
My lips were saying one thing, but my mind was thinking something different.
What? Are you serious?"
Edward´s eyes changed color. They were dark and black.
be mad at her Edward. I´ll keep my promise, but only if you won´t tell
me the truth." Edward was looking at me. I couldn’t read in his eyes. I
was good at it, but Edward´s eyes were different.
"Edward, you know that girl?"
It was Rosalie. I´ve almost forgotten, that Edward´s siblings are there.
"Please, let me introduce to you, Sue, Bella´s cousin."
Rose, Alice and Emmett were looking at me.
"Nice to meet you. Bella told us, that you would come."
Great, Bella told everyone about me, but she didn´t tell me anything about the others.
"Sorry Sue, we have to go now. See you. Everything would be just fine."
"But Edward, Sue can come with us, if she doesn´t want to go home already."
Alice was so kind, but what would Bella think if I would go to the Cullen´s house?
you Alice, but I think I would walk a bit. I need to think. Yesterday
was strange and weird. I really don’t know what is happening with
Bella. She was never so furious when I visited her. She changed a lot,
but I don´t know what is bad to know the truth about Edward."
"But then we have to kill you."
Emmett was so close to me. His eyes were evil.
"Emmett stop scaring her. I think that she should know the truth. If Bella knows it, then why can´t she know it, too."
"But how can we be sure that she won´t tell the truth to anybody? Our secret would be lost and we would have to leave Forks."
Rosalie looked at me. She wasn´t sure if she can trust me."
"Rose, she would keep the secret, I know that."
At first Rose didn´t say anything, but then she turned her back to us and silently said:
"Ok, I think we can trust her. But be careful Edward, you know what can happen. She´s a human."
What is bad about being a human?
I really didn´t understand Rosalie´s last sentence.
"Rosalie please, you wouldn´t."
Edward stood in front of me, like he wanted to protect me.
"I´m fine Edward. I´m safe with you and your siblings."
"If you would only know."
I´ve heard sadness in his voice.
"Ok. I think you should go home and I will tell Sue the truth."
"I hope you know what you are doing Edward."
Emmett was standing near Rosalie holding her in his arms.
"I know exactly what I´m doing Emmett."
"We see us later, bye Edward."
The others have left.
Is Edward really going to tell me the truth? Am I prepared to hear it?
"Don´t worry, it´s not that bad."
Edward knew exactly what I am thinking.
"We should go somewhere quiet. I don´t want that anyone else would heard what I´m going to tell you."
Edward took me to the meadow where we´ve met in the night.
"I don´t know how to start. Do you have any questions?"
My mind was going crazy. So many thoughts and I couldn´t say a word.
I have one. I´ve heard your talk with Bella. You told her that you
heard my thoughts. Are you a mind reader or something like that?"
got a great memory. But don´t be scared about the truth. Yes, I can
read minds. I can´t read every mind apart from Bella´s, but I don´t
know why."
"That´s the whole truth? This big secret is just that you can read minds?"
I saw Edward´s sight. He was probably trying to find the best words to tell me what is really going on.
"I´m not a human. It´s so hard to talk about it, because I´m afraid that you would be scared and won´t talk to me, ever."
He is not a human. So what he could be then? So this is what Rosalie has meant with her sentence.
only thought which was in my mind was that he can be a vampire, but it
was impossible. Suddenly, I´ve remembered the legends which I hated so
much. The legends about werewolves and the vampires. I´ve stood up.
Edward just can´t be a vampire. I can´t imagine that he drinks human´s
blood. The shivers covered my whole body. I couldn´t look at him. My
heart was beating so loud that I was sure that even Edward can hear it.
"Sue, I´ll explain it to you. Now I know why Bella didn´t want you to know the truth."
"So tell my what are you."
Edward looked into my eyes. It was really hard for him to admit who he really is.
"I´m a vampire."
The sentence was flying in the air.
He´s a vampire. He´s a vampire.
This thought was repeating in my mind over and over again.
"Are you drinking the blood of humans?"
I just need to know that. I couldn´t imagine that he would be such a monster.
"No. Me and my family drink just the blood of animals"
I couldn´t say anything.
really a vampire. My craziest thought was true. But how can I come home
and do like I would know nothing? Bella would be furious again, but the
worst is that she would be angry at Edward as well.
"Sue, you don´t need to tell Bella, that you know the truth. I´ve told you it, because I think you should know it."
"Thank you Edward. But how did you become a vampire? I can´t imagine how can a human become a vampire."
Carlisle transformed me. I was dying on a Spanish flu. He saved me,
although he wouldn´t do this to anybody who had another choice."
It was really hard for him to talk about being a vampire.
"Are you afraid Sue?"
"No, I´m not."
I´m afraid, but I can´t tell him. It would hurt him.
"You are lying to me. Don´t forget that I can read your mind."
was right, I have forgotten that he can read minds. I was looking at
him, waiting what he would do. If he would attack me, the others would
know what happened.
"But you won´t hurt me. I can see it in
your eyes. I want to believe that you won´t hurt me." Tears started
flowing down my face, but for no reason. Edward hugged me. His embrace
wasn´t cold like his skin. I´ve felt great. So calm and happy. The fear
"No, I won´t hurt you. I want you to behave like I would be a normal guy."
The sudden nearness was strange. I was standing beside Edward trying not to think about anything.
"I´ll try it Edward don´t worry."
It was already dark, so I decided to go home.
have to go now. Thank you Edward. I really appreciate that you´ve told
me the truth. I won´t tell anybody, not even Bella. I can imagine how
her reaction would be like. Bye."
"Bye, Sue."
I wanted to go back home but something was holding me back. Was I scared to see Bella again?
"What´s the matter Sue? Should I take you home?"
"No, please. Bella can´t know that I was with you."
I was really scared. Bella would kill me. I was alone with her boyfriend. I really would understand her.
"Come on, Sue. Bella is not that bad."
I started walking silently. Slowly making the distance between me and Edward bigger. I stopped and turned around.
"Edward? Can I ask you another question?"
"How can you stand Bella´s present? I know that you drink the blood of animals, but you´re still a vampire."
Edward looked up to the moon. I wish I would know what he was thinking.
sometimes is really hard for me to control myself cause Bella doesn’t
make it any easier for me. I´m afraid that I would hurt her, if I won´t
control myself enough. She is tempting me, every time we are together.
She doesn’t realize what can happen when I lose control."
I saw sadness in Edward´s eyes. He suffered more than he could admit.
can Bella be so thoughtless. Doesn´t she realize how does it make
Edward feel to be with her? If I would be her, I wouldn´t do that. I
would do everything to make it easier for him.
The stream of my thoughts was never ending. I just stood there. I didn´t know what to say. How to make Edward feel better.
she gets angry. When her passion is too big to keep it under control. I
wish I could love her the way I want to. Like a normal man who don´t
need to pay attention by every touch, by every gentle stroke. My
strenght is bigger than she can imagine."
I was surprised by
Edward´s sincere. But I was still without words. I just need to talk to
Bella about her behavior towards Edward. Although she would be furious
cause I know the truth. My stay in Forks is coming to end, so I need to
tell her what I think.
"Edward I would talk to Bella. I don´t
care she would be angry. She just needs to know how it is destroying
you. I would be just two another days in Forks, than I have to go back."
"Thank you Sue. But I don´t think she would change in this way. She is still a woman with her needs."
I understood him, but I couldn’t let Bella act like that. Suddenly my phone began ringing. It was Bella.
"Hi Bells."
where in the hell are you? We were looking for you in the town. Then
we´ve met Alice, Rosalie and Emmett. They´ve told us, you are with
Edward, but they didn´t know where you went. Are you still with Edward?
Don´t try to lie to me."
I was silent. I was convinced that
she knows that I´m with Edward, she didn´t need to ask. I´ve looked at
Edward. His eyes were saying:
"Tell her the truth. There´s nothing else you can do. She would figure it out although."
I took a deep breath.
"Yes, I´m still with Edward. I tell you everything when I come back."
Bella´s voice was calm.
"Ok, let Edward to bring you home."
After a few short minutes I was back home. Bella was waiting for me. When I stepped into the house Bella hugged me.
"Gosh, Sue we were looking for you the whole day, I´m so glad that you were with Edward and nothing bad happened to you."
I really couldn´t believe what she was saying.
"Yes, it was great to be with him and talk. I know him a bit better now."
I looked down, trying to find the words how to tell Bella that I know the truth about Edward, the whole truth.
I need to tell you something. There is a reason why I was with Edward.
He told me the whole truth about him. He admitted who he really is. I
know you don’t want me to know the truth, but I swear I won´t tell
anybody. It´s not easy for Edward to talk about being a vampire." Bella
was just staring at me and said nothing.
"Well, it was his
decision, so I can´t be angry Sue. But don´t think that there are just
vampires like Edward and his family. I met the real blood thirsty
vampires, who tried to kill me. I couldn´t tell you because I was
afraid and I still am that the would hurt you too. Don´t go to the
woods alone. It´s too dangerous."
This was the old Bella I so adore.
"Bells, you know that I will go home in two days, so you don´t need to be afraid anymore."
"I wanted to tell you it tomorrow, but I think I have to tell it now. Your mother called and ask my dad if you can stay here."
What? MY MOTHER? She wants to get rid of me.
The tears overflow the edge of my eyes.
"Sue, listen please. My dad said that you have to decide if you want to go back home or stay with us."
is her reason for letting me stay here? She knows how much I hate
Forks. Not because of the weather but the mystery and the creatures
which live here. She wants me to stay here. BUT SHE DOESN´T HAVE A
I shouted from the bottom of my lungs. Bella hugged me again.
I know that is hard for you to stay here, but your mother is going to
Europe for five years and the time when she is there you should stay
with us. She wants to go on her own. She didn´t say anything more. You
don´t have the choice. I´m glad that you would stay here, but not by
these circumstances."
"Bells can you leave me alone for a while? I just need to absorb what happened now."
"I understand you Sue. When you would need anything, I´m here for you. Good night."
left me alone in the room. I couldn´t stop thinking about I should stay
in Forks. This thought was killing me. And there was something else,
what I was afraid to admit. The destroying need to be near Edward,
although I know that he is forbidden for me. I couldn´t explain this to
myself. I tried not to think about Edward, but it was almost
impossible. Now I understand why Bella loves him. I´ve tried not to
think about anything and fallen asleep. In my dream I went again to the
meadow, but this time no one was there. I´ve heard voices but seen no
one. I went after the voices. I was almost near when the blood-red eyes
looked at me out of the dark. I screamed. When I´ve waken up, I was
breathing heavily, my heart was beating unbelievably fast. I couldn´t
imagine what could this dream mean. So I didn´t pay attention to it.
The next day Bella has waken me up.
"Good morning sunshine. How are you feeling?"
She smiled at me. Obviously she was in a good mood.
Bella. I´m fine. I had a weird dream last night. I was at the meadow
and from the dark were looking two blood-red eyes at me. I don´t know
what can that mean."
Bella looked like she would worry.
that can be the vampires. Their eyes become blood-red when they are
hungry, well I should say thirsty. Please, keep away from the forest, I
beg you Sue."
I said nothing. The woods were my only hideout. Where no one could disturb my thought, where I could be alone.
"Bella, I´m sorry, but you know how much I love the forest and the nature here. I would be careful. I promise."
Bella wasn´t satisfied with my answer.
don´t you realize how dangerous it could be for you, when you´d be in
the woods alone? You can´t protect yourself, you can´t run away."
I wasn´t scared. I just wanted to be alone, I need to think. How would everything continue. How stop my thought about Edward.
"Bella, I need to be alone now. I go to the meadow, if you would want something, you´d know where I am."
Bella wasn´t happy about my decision.
"Ok, be careful."
Then I´ve left. I walked slowly, assorting my thought. I´ve sat down at the meadow, putting my head in hands.
I´m stuck here. I just want to know why mom left me here. Why is she
going to Europe? I have so many questions but no one can answer them. I
feel so alone. So abandoned. So hopeless. Why me? Can even one thing in
my life make me happy?
Immersed in my thoughts, I started crying. I just wanted to scream away the pain I was feeling.
thought, I would come home and everything would be fine. Just one week
in Forks and then my usual life. But what happened? I have to stay
here, although I don´t want to. What would be now?
thoughts were unwinding in my mind like a movie, couldn´t stop them. I
don´t how long I was already there. Suddenly, I´ve heard a strange
noise coming from the distance. The dream came back to my mind. Are
that really vampires? I´ve just sat there and didn´t move. I saw a
shadow, so there was someone. I was like stoned, not able to run away.
But I didn´t feel scared. He wasn´t dangerous. He didn´t move towards
me so I didn´t pay attention to him. I´ve immersed me in my thoughts
again. But this time, it wasn´t my mom about who I was thinking about.
just can be near Edward. I know what would happen. With my luck, I
would probably fall in love with him, knowing that he loves Bella more
than his life, more than everything in this universe. She is his reason
of his being. How could a no one like me just think about he would ever
love me. Such a silly girl.
The shadow moved slowly closer to me. It was already dark so I couldn´t recognize his face. I just sat there. I didn´t move.
He called me. I would recognize this voice even if I would be blind. He sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulders.
"Why are you so broken?"
I whispered. We are alone, again. This can be just a coincidence.
"I think I don´t need to tell you. You have heard my thoughts surely."
Edward didn´t look in my eyes, so I was right. He has heard everything.
did. I just can’t switch the mind reading off. Sometimes I wish I could
read Bella´s mind. But your mind is interesting. How old are you Sue?"
"What does my age have in common with my mind? Well, I´m 17, just like Bella."
"You are very adult for your age. But I don´t think that you are a silly girl."
I´ve blushed and turned my face away from him. Gosh, he has heard what I´ve thought about him and Bella.
"Everyone has desires, right?"
"But I can´t long for you Edward. Can you understand that?"
I can. But it´s possible that it´s because I´m a vampire. It´s a kind
of curse. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my smell.
Everything. But I don´t know why, but it´s easier for me to control
myself when I´m with you. I feel more like a human."
didn´t make it any easier for me not to fall in love with him. I looked
into his eyes. I couldn´t stop looking. His gold-brown were almost
hypnotizing me.
"Maybe it´s because, you love Bella. You don´t feel anything to me."
Edward pushed me closer to him. I could feel his cold skin through my shirt.
"Let me be your friend."
It won´t be easy for me to be just your friend, if you would be doing this.
was so near him, I was sure, he can hear how was my heart going crazy.
He giggled silently. "You remind me at Bella. Her reactions are the
same than yours. But I´ll try not to tempt you." "That would be nice."
I ask you something? Does your mother have a reason for letting you
here? I haven´t heard everything, what you were thinking."
"No, she doesn´t. I don´t even know, why she didn´t call me and told me it on her own. I feel so alone, abandoned, hopeless."
started running down my face again. I didn´t care that Edward is a
vampire. I buried my head in his chest, so he was so close to me. I
just needed to feel that I can count on someone and Edward was now near
"You´re not alone, Sure. Remember that. Bella is here for
you and I´m here for you too. I would try to be the best friend you´ve
ever had."
"Thank you Edward. I really appreciate it."
"Would you attend the school here in Forks? I can imagine that you would be mine and Bella´s classmate."
He smiled at me.
I haven´t thought about it yet. But I think I would just have to. If
everything would be fine, I would leave tomorrow. It´s really
frustrating. I don´t know anyone here except you and Bella. I don´t
know how the others would react when I´ll come like a stranger to their
class." "But Sue, it´s the beginning of the year. You would be a new
"I would talk about it with uncle Charlie and Bella."
I´ve looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. The time went so fast when I was with Edward.
"I´m sorry Edward, I have to go home. It´s too late. I have been away since morning. I´m a bit tired too, I need some sleep."
"Ok, would you mind if I would go with you and visit Bella?"
"No, but I think you would be sleeping already."
"I know. I love watching her sleeping."
We went to uncle Charlie´s house. I let Edward in. He stopped in front of Bella´s room.
"Won´t you step in?"
Edward opened the door.
Bella wasn´t sleeping. She was probably waiting for me.
"Bella. You should get some sleep."
"I can´t sleep Edward. Sue went to the meadow in the morning and she´s still not at home. I´m worried. Her phone is off."
I´ve looked at my phone. The battery was dead.
"Don´t worry Bella. I´ve just …."
Bella interrupted him.
"Edward, please can you go and see if she is still there? I have a strange feeling."
just brought her home. We were together. Please don´t get mad. She is
really depressed cause of what is happening. It´s too much for her in a
short time. She is standing in the hall."
Bella hugged Edward.
you. I´m so glad that you were with her. I don´t need to be afraid when
you are near her. I feel calmer. Can you please call her in?"
I´ve come in. I´ve heard Bella.
"Do you feel better Sue?"
no Bells. The pain in my heart won´t vanish easily. It takes time, a
lot of time for me, to reconcile to it. This is a new beginning for me.
I have to face it. Everything Bells. From one moment I don´t have a
mother. It´s like a part of me would die. I feel like something is
missing in my inner. There´s not just that mom has left, but something
else, but don´t try to figure it out Bella. I need to face it on my
own. You are not able to help me."
"How can be so sure Sue? I really can´t help you if you don´t tell me what is happening."
"I´ll tell you it tomorrow. I promise. But promised me that you won´t get furious, ok?"
"Ok. Good night Sue."
Good night Bella. Good night Edward."
went to my room, thinking what my life would be like now in Forks. With
all the dangers, all new people, with Bella, Edward and the need to
feel him near, which I couldn´t put out.


8 Responses to The secret power: 1. chapter – This is how it all began

  • V prom rade, ti musím zložiť poklonu, že si dokázala napísať tak rozsiahly text v angličtine, aj keď som tam niekedy jasne rozoznala jednotlivé prvky z Twilight-u (napríklad: His skin was sparkling like his whole
    body would be covered with diamonds. – to je veta ako úplne vystrihnutá z románu Meyerovej a je ich tam viac. Myslím, že som zazrela dve, alebo tri také)
    Je to pridlhé.
    A máš nezrovnalosti v deji, ako to, že Sue mala prísť na týždeň a už po prvom stretnutí s Edwardom v lese, ktoré vyzeralo „že sa šla prejsť ešte v ten večer“ si náhle skočila do deja (tam, kde stretla Cullenovcov niekde vo Forkse, či kde, keď sa zase išla prejsť), kedy bolo do konca jej pobytu u Belly už len dva dni.
    Je tu až pramálo originality. Ľutujem – či anglicky a či nie.

  • Keďže ide o FanFiction, tak tu originalita nehrá žiadnu rolu. Originalitu nemôžeš hodnotiť, tam kde sa jasne nadväzuje na už existujúce dielo.
    Tu ide o to ako to celé autor zvláda. A musím povedať, že viac ako dobre.
    Twilight som čítal po anglicky a toto má úplne rovnakú atmosféru. Takže čo sa týka nadvezovania a zhostenia sa nejakého štýlu u mňa jednotka.

    Ale osobne FanFiction moc nemusím, niektoré sú fakt dobré, ale príde mi to mierne detinské. Oveľa radšej mám vlastné nápady. 🙂

  • Nemám rada, keď niekto netvorí v rodnom jazyku. Pripadá mi to ako znevažovanie slovenčiny. Nie že by som slovenčinu považovala za ten najsuper jazyk na svete, napr. čeština mi v niektorých literárnych dielach sadne viac, ale v tom, čomu dáme prednosť pri čítaní a v čomu pri tvorbe je podľa mňa veľký rozdiel a o niečom to vypovedá.

    Ale na druhej strane je možné, že zo mňa hovorí len slepá závisť, nakoľko ja som zo seba v živote v angličtine nedostala dve súvislé gramaticky správne vety… a keď už sme pritom, ani neprečítala… :´-( Takže prepáč, že nehodnotím samotný príspevok. Je možné, že by sa mi páčil, ale ja a angličtina sa akosi… jednoducho nenávidíme od prvého okamihu, čo sme sa stretli…

  • Twilight som po anglicky nečítala, čiže nemôžem posúdiť, či toto malo rovnakú atmosféru, alebo nie, ale hneď začiatok mi prišiel…príliš unáhlený. Teda, nie úvod, kde Sue rozmýšľa, ale prvá Charlieho veta: „Hi Sue, we are so happy to have you here again.“
    Bez presnejšieho dôvodu na mňa tá veta pôsobí strašne neprirodzene. xDD
    Osobne by som ti radila písať skôr po slovensky, aj keď tvoja angličtina je veľmi dobrá (tiež chválim, že si dokázala napísať taký dlhý príspevok v cudzom jazyku). Trochu tomu chýbajú obrazy, alebo o čosi zaujímavejšie slová, ktoré by si v rodnom jazyku skôr použila.

  • Tie prvky Twilight-u sú tam zámerne, ale v tomto máš pravdu, tento úvod vôbec nemá s originalitou nič spoločné, ja to mám všetko premyslené, len som dáko musela začať, pozorne si to prečítam a pokúsim sa tie nerzrovnalosti v deji opraviť, aby to dávalo zmysel … beriem tvoju kritiku Majka, 🙂 Dakujem za poklonu, moje diela mám viac-menej všetky aj v angličtine 🙂

  • dakujem veľmi pekne, sama viem, že to nie je nejaké skvelé dielo, ale mne osobne sa celkom páči, ani sama neviem prečo 🙁 … mna baví písať FanFiction 🙂 ale najlepšie je písať niečo originálne  a vlastné 🙂

  • toto bol iba pokus napísať niečo v inom jazyku ako v slovenčine, väčšinou píšem po slovensky, ale niekedy sami píše po anglicky lepšie … 🙂

  • hmmm … ten dôvod je tam skrytý, ved už päť rokov tam nebola a Charlie ju privíta s tým, že je rád že je tam opäť 🙂  ešte sa na to pozriem a pokúsim sa odstrániť nedostatky … 🙂

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